Tuesday, April 5, 2011

How NOT to decorate your outdoor space!

So....first let me make you all aware that I do not like being a renter. I HATE IT! I hate it with every fiber of my being!
Until September of 2010 I owned a home. I owned several homes prior to that ....but due to some stupid shit on my part, I am now back to renting and I HATE IT!

I hate renting for two reasons.

1. This place is not MINE. So anything I do it is temporary which makes it harder to decorate. I mean who wants to spend a lot of time or money on a place when you hope to be outta of it ASAP?

2. I hate the stigma of being a renter. You know what I am talking about, don't act like you don't! The majority of renters do not give a shit about the place that they live in. They will have a pet even when they are not supposed to and let that critter shit and piss all over the place. They will let their kids draw on the walls. They will tear shit up and not give it a second thought. (I was a landlord once...so I know what I am talking about) Renters will be..well...renters!

Which brings me to this.....THIS is the view from my balcony. THIS is how to NOT decorate your outdoor space; bikes, a fridge, bags of cans, a sofa, toys, a table saw, and various other non-balcony items! THIS is why people have a negative feeling about "renters"!

I wake up each morning and want to go to thier unit and smack the shit out of them. What a damn mess! These apartments aren't cheap..so get your ghetto shit off the damn balcony and outta my site!

Because of these LOSERS I now not only need basic patio furniture for my balcony but I also need tall plants and outdoor bamboo blinds! More money that I have to spend on a place that is only temporary!


  1. bah! those are the worst.. trash and pool accessories are my biggest eyesores. it drives me crazy when people leave those on their balconies!

  2. lmao a fridge? um dont they have one inside? oh right, its purely for beer storage.

  3. i hear you! I hate that stuff too. Although I do have a giant metal trash can on my balcony right now (former roommate turned it into a smoker and asked me to hold on to it until he has a place he could put it...) considering this was 2 years ago and i pretty much hate the guy now seeing your post makes me want to get rid of that. I rent too and we have a mix of nice balconies with plants and people with stacks of garbage/boxes etc. I need to get rid of that can because without that my balcony will actually look pretty decent.

  4. I believe in the power of ownership, but as a renter I care alot about my home, even if I don't own it. I wish that I had chosen a career that would have made it possible for me to save enough money to own, but that has not happened yet. I hope it does.

    That said, I can say a holy hell yes to the cracked out shit people do to their balconies, and what they think balconies are for, which includes ghetto-fabulous storage space.

  5. I have complained three times but the stuff remains even though the lease clearly states that nothing other than patio furniture and potted plants are allowed on the balcony!
    It is because of the ghetto-fabulous people of the world that I dreaded becoming a renter again.

  6. Holy crap I just looked again--I thought you meant dorm fridge but that is a full on freezer refrigerator unit on the porch!

    There is something you can do here, but it depends on your having a balcony and the ability to say "I'm joining in what I did not recognize at first as an artistic community engaging in installation art in public private space."

    You need a goat. Or better yet, one of those extra miniature ponies that serve as guide animals, but they may be more expensive. Once you erected a tiny stable with hay and a feeding trough, they'll listen to you.

  7. I think I will get some plywood and enclose mine altogether! :-)

  8. UPDATE: as of today, 04-26-2011, they have removed all non-balcony items except for the 1980's loveseat and the fridge. crossing my fingers that those two items disappear soon!